11\6\99
No Regrets
by Araxdelan
Disclaimer- Chris Carter is a big fat tease, and I have half a mind to
sue him for custody of the boys on the account of he's really cruel to them.
Rating- PG13
Summary- What the final episode would be like if I was running the show.



______________________________________________

	It was all done. The battles had been fought, the mysteries
uncovered, and yet they had still failed. Though Fox Mulder didn't know
the end was coming, he could sense it was near. And there was nothing he
could do about it. So, confused, tired, and defeated, he headed home.

	He had left his partner in her own apartment after one final
planning session. They had talked, they had spent hours going over
every possible scenario, but the conclusion they came to was unhelpful;
they were screwed. He bid her farewell with a kiss on the cheek that
had a finality to it.

	The pain and fear were obvious on his face as he undressed,
shedding his clothes and heading for his bed, not knowing what else to
do with his last moments. He climbed in and pulled the covers up over
his face; trying to hide, trying to deny all that was happening. The
events he felt personally responsibility for.

	He had tried to stop the invasion. He had tried to uncover the
conspiracy. But he had failed. As he thought back he felt that every
move he had made was wrong. Everything he had done in the past seven
years was a mistake, and now the whole world would pay.

	His exhaustion overtook him and he drifted to sleep, taking a
sick satisfaction in the fact that at least he'd die in the state of
unhappiness that he felt he deserved....


...and he dreamed

...................................................

	He saw the earth, full of happiness.

	A group, playing baseball.

	An ice cream stand surrounded by the young.

	The old, calmly playing checkers.

	Couples, pushing baby carriages.

	All of them aliens. Enjoying his planet, while he sat and watched.

.......................................................

	Another dream, more disturbing. Sharp clawed aliens, tearing
apart people he knew, one by one. Ones he was close to... Scully,
Skinner.... people he didn't know very well... his neighbors, the
server from the Starbucks down the street, the security guard from work...

	There was blood and gore everywhere. He looked down, and there
were a pair of eyes, watching him. Perfectly intact, ripped from their
sockets, just watching him.

	They were the most brilliantly beautiful green eyes Mulder had
ever seen, and when he noticed them they seemed to glint with amusement,
just like they had when Alex gave him that annoying smirk....

.....................................................

	And Mulder jerked awake, frightened, sweating, only to see those
same eyes staring at him, and he shrieked.

	The eyes weren't amused anymore, they were concerned, and quite
attached to their owner. Mulder breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed,
before he remembered that he was supposed to be angry that Krycek was
sitting on his bed staring at him.

	He tried to be angry. He really did. But he just didn't have the
energy or the will what with the world ending and all. Besides,
finding reason and the animosity to be angry at Krycek had been
getting harder and harder, and it wasn't worth the effort to put
oneself into such a miserable stage of almost artificial rage.

	Mulder sighed and flopped down onto the bed. He closed his eyes,
more out of frustration than weariness, and said, "What are you doing here?"

	When no answer came, he reluctantly lifted his lids. "And why
are you staring at me like that?"

	A sad smile flittered onto Krycek's face and died. "We did what
we could."

	Effortlessly catching onto Krycek's line of thought, Mulder
responded. "We didn't do enough, obviously."

	Krycek shook his head at Mulder, a slight look of reprimand on
his face. "Mulder, we did everything humanly possible. We gave 
everything we had. We've given the last few years of our lives. No one
could ask us to do any more."

	"I know. But still... *still*... it wasn't enough."

	"Does that mean we have to blame ourselves?"

	"How can we not?"

	"Because it wasn't our fault. The blame should go to *Them*. The
ones who sold the rest of us out. I tried to get inside and fight them.
You tried to expose them. They were too much for me. No one listened
to you."

	"But.... I still feel like I should take the blame."

	"You're just too used to it."

	Though Mulder didn't want him to be right, he knew he was. Rather
than acquiesce the point, Mulder turned to sarcasm.

	"So, is that why your here? To alleviate me of my guilt?"

	A snort, and a slight blush. "No, Mulder. Though God knows
someone needs to tell you that you aren't responsible for everything
that's ever gone wrong in the world."

	"Then why?"

	Krycek took a few long breathes, and Mulder noticed that this
was the first time he had ever seen Krycek nervous. The man had exuded
confidence, even in some of the more precarious situations he and
Mulder had been in.

	After a moment Krycek's shoulders slumped, and he looked
downwards, into his lap. But, despite his posture, it seemed that he
found whatever courage he was looking for, because he began speaking.

	"It's obvious that you know it's all over. That there's nothing
that any of us can do to stop it now. But I don't think you know how
much time we have left. If you did, you probably wouldn't be sleeping;
you'd be out clearing up your greatest regrets."

	He barked out a short, dry laugh, and continued. "This is *it*,
Mulder. Tonight." He looked up, straight into Mulder's eyes. "Late
tomorrow morning, the invasion begins. We'll be dead soon after.
There's no time for games, no time for more lies. I'm not going to
die without telling you I love you, because that would be the stupidest
fucking thing I've ever done. And I've done some pretty stupid stuff."

	Mulder blinked.

	"I know you're surprised. I know you don't like me, and I was
never going to tell you this. But I figured that we were both going to
die anyway, so what the hell..."

	Mulder blinked again.

	"It's the last night on earth, Mulder. While everyone else
might not realize it, it's time to go crazy. To do all the things you
always wanted to do, because you won't ever get a chance again, and I
wanted to say it, just once..."

	The movement of Krycek's lips stopped, his babbling silenced
as Mulder kissed him.

	And when Mulder pulled back, he was smiling.

	"What?" Krycek asked.

	"We're the biggest idiots in the entire universe. We're probably
a cosmic joke."

	"Huh?"

	Mulder, still smiling, shook his head in a self-pitying manner.
"It's just that we never knew... I always thought you were working
against me, and then I found out you were working to stop the aliens,
and it made more sense; I couldn't see you wanting the planet taken
over. But by then I had gotten so used to thinking I should hate you... 

	"All this time we could have been working together; maybe we
could have even stopped them. But I was so angry at you for betraying
me all those years ago, so blinded.... all the time wishing it had
been different, wishing you were working for our side. And it turns
out you were. It turns out we could have been together all this time.
Turns out we should have been working together all this time. And
when do we finally swallow our pride and admit this? On the last
night of the world."

	Krycek hooted his laughter, truly amused this time. "You're
right. We're idiots!"

	And the tension broke, and they looked at each other fondly.
They each knew there was no time to really bury the past, so they
simply forgot it. Simply pretended they hadn't each fucked up
royally, that they always had what they always wanted.

	In a simple glance, they were perfectly connected. As they
were meant to be. Finally.

	"At least no one will ever know how stupid we are." Mulder said.

	And then Krycek pushed him flat on the bed, leaned over
and kissed him.


	They made love with a sweet desperation, trying to forget
that they would have no other chance, but never quite succeeding.

______________________________________________________________________

	Scully burst into Mulder's apartment, barely giving a thought
as to why the door was left unlocked. She was positively glowing,
alight with happiness as she sought her partner out.

	Seeing the living room abandoned, she ran into Mulder's
bedroom, shouting, "Mulder, you'll never believe..."

	But stopped completely short as she looked through the
doorway at the scene before her.

	Mulder in bed, tangled up in the bedsheets and Alex Krycek.

	"Oh my God!"

	Mulder made a displeased noise, and nuzzled Krycek's neck,
trying to bury himself in the man.

	"MULDER!"

	Both men's eyes shot open, and they tightened their arms
around each other as they stared blankly in shock and fear.

	Scully, not knowing what else to say or do, stood there.

	After a moment, they straightened themselves. Finally being
able to look each other in the eyes, their fear seemed to ease. Their
brains finally recovered from being startled awake, and they remembered.
Smiling at each other, Mulder whispered, "I love you," into Krycek's
ear, too quiet for Scully to hear. And then they kissed each other,
long and deep, while Scully watched.


	When they finished they both turned to look at Scully, whose
mouth had dropped open in shock.

	She pulled her mouth closed, and then asked, "*What* is going on?"

	Mulder stretched his arms out, and then put them behind his
head. "I'm in love with Alex. He's in love with me."

	"How can that possibly be? Are you insane Mulder? What were
you thinking?"

	Krycek spoke up. "Just drop it, Scully. It won't matter soon
anyway. Go out, take a walk in the park. Call your mother. Have a
glass of the vintage you were saving for a special occasion."

	She glared at him. "What are you talking about? Are you two
both drunk?"

	Mulder rolled his eyes. "*No*, we are not drunk. Scully, we
both knew that the end was near. But we didn't know how near. We have
a few hours, at best. And I've wasted a whole lot of time, and I don't
plan on wasting a second more." With that he swung his arms out from
behind his head, and gathered Krycek into them.

	For a moment, Scully looked confused. And then she looked
like she was going to explode.

	"Oh my God. When I couldn't get a hold of you last night, I
thought you had gone off on some last minute mission to try and save
things. But you were *here* having sex with *him*!"

	"Scully, it was the last night of the world. The only night
we were going to get together. Forgive me for unplugging the phone
and turning the cell off, but my priorities changed. I was stupid in
not doing this sooner."

	Scully began massaging her temples. "Mulder, you idiot. There
was a reason I was calling you. The Gunmen managed to get the plans.
I was trying to contact you so you could come with us to sabotage the
docking point. But we couldn't get a hold of you, so we went ahead and
did it ourselves."

	Krycek's eyes widened. "You destroyed the docking point?"

	"Yes."

	"Oh, God. Mulder, do you know what this means?"

	Mulder who had since let go of Krycek to sit up and bury his
face in his hands, mumbled, "That the world isn't ending and we really
are the biggest cosmic joke?"

	"I have a feeling somebody's laughing. Unfortunately, it isn't her."

	Scully glared first at Krycek, and then at Mulder, and then at
the two of them collectively. 

	Mulder peeked through his fingers, and said, "Oh, shit. Krycek,
hide me."

	"Why should I hide you? She *likes* you. You should be hiding me."

	Scully rolled her eyes, amused despite herself and trying to
hide it. "So, what's going to happen now that the world isn't ending?"

	Mulder and Krycek looked at each other, unsure of what to say.
Krycek finally broke the silence. "I... I don't know about you, but I'd
like to get to live that life that I thought I'd never get to have."

	Mulder smiled. "I think I'd like to live that life with you."

	The boys leaned into a kiss, and never heard Scully's muttered,
"Oh, brother..." as she crossed her arms and left the room.


____

The
End
____